Well, this is it. Christmas is just around the corner. New Year’s is just a block ahead of that. If you’re anything like us, you’ve procrastinated on getting your Christmas gifts. Sure, you’ve probably bought some of the gifts. Maybe you’ve even bought most of your gifts already. But if you’re like us, there’s still a few people you haven’t been able to find the perfect gift for. Let us help you out. No hassles. Everything is right here for you except the gift wrapping.
Here are some perfect gifts for the Minnesota Sports fan. We’ll even organize them for you by team with some general Minnesota gifts interspersed to make it as easy as possible. One stop shopping. The links are included right there for you. It’s never been so easy. We’ll walk through the Twins, Vikings and Gophers Football today and give you the rundown for the Wild, Timberwolves and Gophers Basketball tomorrow.
The Minnesota Gophers Football program has danced between mediocrity and putridity for the last 50 years. We are all dying for good team. It looks like Jerry Kill might just be the coach to get us back into the national discussion, at least in the Top 25 rankings. As we prepare for our December 31st bowl game, (yes, you read that right, the Gophers are in a bowl game again!), have a look at these perfect Gophers gifts.
It’s been a long, long time since the Gophers have played in the Rose Bowl. Fifty years in fact. Do you have an important friend and you’re looking for the perfect gift? On the 50th anniversary of our last Rose Bowl appearance, this is it–the 1962 Rose Bowl Program. In what was Minnesota’s only Rose Bowl win ever, our Gophers defeated UCLA 21-3.
This is the authentic program from that day. This is the perfect gift for the diehard Gophers fan. The program is full of stats, photos, and roster information. It also includes vintage advertisements. You never know when we’ll reach another Rose Bowl. You’re going to need this to remember our last one.
Remember what we said about the Vikings Duct Tape? Well, that’s still true. It’s awesome. This is pretty darn sweet too, though. A Gophers Grill topper. It’s perfect.
While you fly your flags high outside of The Bank, dig your teeth into a Goldy branded burger. Put that perfect “M” on your steak for your early morning steak and eggs. It’s a portable ceramic coated cast iron grill rack that turns ordinary meat into works of art. It comfortably rests on your existing gas or charcoal grill rack. What more could you need? Show your true fandom on your tailgate meat. (Or something like that.)
The Minnesota Book of Skills: Your Guide to Smoking Whitefish, Sauna Etiquette, Tick Extraction and More
Where was this book when we were growing up! This would have saved us a lot of pain and heartache. Like that awkward encounter naked in the sauna. Or the hours we spent trying to flick that tick off our forehead rather than pinch it. This book could have saved us a ton of issues. In fact, it still can. One sec…
Just bought it. Make sure you know which fishing bait to use the next time you’re out on the lake. Make sure you know how to properly gut and cook Lutefisk. Don’t be caught with you pants down in the sauna…literally. Have you always wanted to give that delicious Bundt cake that will sit on the counter the entire season and never be touched? Well here’s your opportunity to learn how! Everything from state fair seed art to Boundary Waters excursions. This book is a must for the true diehard Minnesotan.
Our team is on the verge of either unexpectedly making the playoffs or finishing the season in a disappointing fashion. As we anxiously await the final two games like little kids on Christmas morning, it’s probably time to get the perfect Vikings Christmas gift for your diehard Vikings friends, (or if you’re like us, for yourself).
Vikings Brand Duct Tape
Ummmm…What?! This exists!? For how long?! Why didn’t anyone tell us?! Why the hell have we been using boring old grey duct tape?! Why can’t we stop yelling?!?!?!
This is fantastic. Vikings brand duct tape is genius. We don’t think we’ll ever use normal duct tape again. In fact, It’s quite possible you’ll go to buy some and they’ll be sold out because we bought it all. Our apologies in advanced. If you visit our offices, though, you will soon see fixed pipes, fallen plaster, three point lines for the Nerf hoop, and writer Joe Buri all safely secured with Vikings duct tape. It’s even coined “Duck Tape”, which is fantastic. How many of you embarrassingly learned it was “duct tape” at a young age when you had been calling it “duck tape” for years? Anybody? No one? Really? Just us? Ok. Well changing the name for us would have saved us the embarrassment. This is the perfect gift.
Vikings Barbecue Utensils
It may not be barbecue season, unless you’re a true Minnesotan, then it’s always barbecue season. These Vikings barbecue utensils are perfect for summer barbecuing or tailgating outside the new outdoor stadium. While all your friends are using boring old wooden-handled utensils, show your Purple & Gold pride with these bad boys.
Minnesota State Cookie Cutter
Do you still need to make Christmas Cookies? Impress your friends with a Minnesota cookie. Do you have a Secret Santa or white elephant Christmas party you’re attending? This is a perfect gift. $5 gift limit? Done and done. With $3.19 to spare. This is a no-brainer.
Sure our pitching adjustments over the off-season haven’t exactly been awe-inspiring. Sure we’ve finished bottom in the AL Central for two straight years. Sure…(we could do that forever it feels like, but we’ll save you the agony. The Twins have been a major disappointment. We’ll leave it at that.) But we still love our Twinkies!
With the weather freezing and the snow dumping…and dumping…and dumping, what better to stay warm than with a “This is Twins Territory” blanket. Cuddle up next to the fire this Christmas and cry into your egg nog and whiskey wondering if we’ll ever play in the World Series again. Just be warm while you’re doing it.
If you’re a diehard Twins fan, then this is the gift for you. Whether you’ve loved the Twins since the early ’60s or have just recently got on board because of Joe Mauer’s dreamy sideburns, this is the book for the real Twins fan in you. This is the perfect coffee table book for your man sports cave. Alex Halsted does a wonderful job giving you all the tools and memories you need to take your Twins fandom to the next level.
“Most Minnesota Twins fans have taken in a game or two at Target Field, have seen highlights of a young Kirby Puckett, and have heard the story of why Calvin Griffith moved the franchise to the Twin Cities back in 1961. But only real fans have visited Cretin-Derham Hall, know the origin of the Homer Hanky, or can recite all the lyrics to We’re Gonna Win Twins.”
These are some wonderful gifts. We know you’ve been procrastinating. Fret no more. Never say we didn’t help you out! Check out Part 2 for some fantastic ideas for the Timberwolves, Wild and Gophers Basketball.